What's in a Name?

A brief interaction led to a larger conversation about names — and the importance of getting them right

Last month I went to see a physiotherapist for some pain I was having in my shoulder.

The appointment was booked under my legal name (Elizabeth) but the first thing I did when the physiotherapist walked into the room was introduce myself.

“Hi, I'm Beth. What's your name?”

A minute later, he called me Elizabeth.

I smiled and said, “I go by Beth. Elizabeth is my legal name, but everyone calls me Beth.”

Three minutes later: “Elizabeth.”

“It's Beth,” I said with another smile.

Ten minutes later: “Elizabeth.” 

And at the end of the appointment: “Elizabeth.” 

All the while, the Ting Tings’ song That's Not My Name was playing in my head.

(Yes, Elizabeth IS my name, but still…)

Sometimes I get called Liz.

Or Bethany.

I've even been called Becky (which isn't even short for Elizabeth!). 

But this interaction got me thinking about names.

I decided to share the story on LinkedIn – and ask if others were ever called the wrong name.

And the post generated A LOT of interest – with nearly 400 comments.

People wrote they had been called names that are close to their actual name, like Katy, who said she gets called Kathy or Katherine.

Ashley said she was called Ash. Susan was called Sue. Debra was called Deb.

Clare was called Clara, David was called Dave, Lauren was called Laura.

Others wrote that they were called names that started with the same first letter as their actual name – but not their actual names.

Like Scott, who has been called Stuart. Or Cat who was called Christine. Mike said he gets called Mark. 

And the comments kept coming.

Philippa said she was called Pip. And Pippa. And Philly.

Sally got called Ally. And Sals. 

Kevin was Ken.

Jeff was Jack

Kristy was Kirsty.

Matt was called Nick.

Clive told me he sometimes got called “Olive.” 

And then there are the people who have a surname that can also be used as a first name.

If Sixteen Candles heartthrob Jake Ryan worked in an office today, half of his colleagues would definitely be calling him Ryan.

Todd Gregory wrote, “I’m living proof that it’s a curse to have your last name also be a first name.”

Eve Lee told me she gets called Lee a lot.

“If the speaker is Gen X, I might reply with, ‘My name is Eve…Ms. Lee if you’re nasty.’”

(I’m here for any and all Janet Jackson references, Ms. Lee).

And then there are the names that get mispronounced.

A man from Spain named Jose (pronounced HO-ZAY) said he has colleagues in France who pronounce his name “JOE-ZAY.”

(Are there people who go by Joe-Zay in France, or elsewhere? Genuinely curious here.)

Ilona said people can’t pronounce or spell her name correctly.

And they often think her name starts with a lowercase “L” instead of an uppercase “I.”

Ilona’s comment reminded me of this sign for Peoria, Illinois. People read it as “Peoria Three” and it was later changed to read: “Peoria, IL”

So, it turns out, a lot of us are getting called the wrong name.

And probably calling others the wrong name.

But does it really matter?

“I’ve given up correcting people because it’s not worth the effort,” wrote Alastair Thomson (no p). 

“But it’s always at least mildly irritating…and it always tells me something about the other person’s attention to detail…!”

Another commented that being called the wrong name wasn’t that big of a deal.

David (not Dave) Colman shared a humorous column he wrote in 2019 about names, and said he simply calls all the men he meets ‘Steve’ and all the women ‘Wendy.’

Being called ‘Wendy’ makes me think of square hamburgers, but in the grand scheme of life, I am not losing sleep over someone calling me the wrong name.

BUT – this is something that appears to happen to — and bother — a lot of people.

And, it is a fairly easy issue to fix.

Hearing your name — the name you like to be called — feels good.

It's a small way to connect.

And a small way to show respect.

But that connection is lost when you call someone the wrong name.

And as Corie pointed out in response to my example, a healthcare professional was clearly not listening to me – nor did he care. 

“Beyond getting your name wrong, what else did he not hear regarding why you were there for treatment?” she asked.

So the next time you’re unsure about someone’s name, ask.

Make an effort to get it right.

And if someone calls you the wrong name, feel free to correct them.

Because to someone, it matters.

PS —

I’d like to leave you with one final thought about names. Among the lighthearted and humorous messages I received after making my post about names, one note was actually…touching.

It came from a man named Steve.

He wrote:

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Beth Collier loves writing, pop culture, and calling people the correct name.

She also loves helping companies, leaders, and teams improve their communication (and creativity and leadership) through consulting, coaching, and workshops.

Her clients benefit from Beth’s global corporate experience, Midwestern practicality and enthusiasm, and an endless supply of pop culture references.

To find out how Beth can help you become a more confident, creative, and compelling leader – or improve communication in your company – visit www.beth-collier.com or drop her a line at beth@beth-collier.com

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