Can Anyone Really Have It All?
They have money. They have fame. But what’s missing?
It was an innocuous press interview for the latest Mission: Impossible film.
The kind of red carpet Tom Cruise has worked for decades, charming fans and reporters alike.
Tom Cruise is all smiles at the Mission: Impossible premiere
And there he was, smiling and playing along as a reporter from E! News peppered him with softball questions at the Mission: Impossible premiere in New York City.
Let’s talk about the stunts you do.
Let’s talk about how you fly planes.
Let’s talk about how you love movies.
And then… let’s talk about Father’s Day.
It was May 18th – nearly a month before Father’s Day.
The US holiday Memorial Day was less than a week away.
Why not ask him if he’s going to celebrate America’s veterans by having a cookout, going to the lake, or buying a discounted mattress?
But no, the hard-hitting journalist of E! News instead asked the most charming movie star alive:
“What does an ideal Father’s Day look like to you?”
“You know…” Cruise began, surely caught off-guard by the question.
“Just having fun, man. Making movies, big adventure, having a great time.”
Right…
But of course, it got me thinking.
Here’s Tom Cruise, arguably the (or one of the) biggest movie stars in the world.
He is rich, powerful, good-looking.
He has also gotten his hands on The Substance that has mysteriously allowed him not to age (much) – and be more fit than ever.
I doubt movie stars half his age would dangle outside planes or keep running after breaking their ankle during a stunt (as Tom did during Mission: Impossible – Fallout. Though injured, Tom, naturally, kept going – and got the shot).
We know all about Tom Cruise the Hollywood movie star.
The daredevil whose desire to up the ante on stunts knows no bounds.
The man who LOVES movies.
But what about Tom Cruise, the father?
“My whole life I always wanted to be a father,” Cruise told People magazine in 2006.
“I always said to myself that my kids would be able to depend on me for anything."
That was the year Cruise and his then-partner Katie Holmes posed on the cover of Vanity Fair with their baby daughter, Suri.
Four years later, he told Esquire:
"I'll never forget the moment I became a dad.
“But it's hard to describe — that level of responsibility, the desire to give such joy. The clarity: Nothing is more important than this.”
When Cruise and Holmes were together, it was not unusual for paparazzi to capture Dad and daughter out and about.
But following their divorce, does Cruise have any kind of relationship with his daughter?
He wasn’t at her high school graduation – and she reportedly dropped “Cruise” as her last name.
And many may not know that before Suri, Tom and then-wife Nicole Kidman adopted two children, Connor and Isabella.
Nicole Kidman holding Connor, Tom Cruise holding Isabella
But it is rare to hear about – or see pictures – of either of them with their dad.
Neither he or Nicole attended Isabella’s wedding in 2015.
That doesn’t mean Cruise doesn’t have a close relationship with them – but neither of them got a mention when he was asked about an ideal Father’s Day.
And I just found that sad.
But Tom is not alone.
Brad Pitt, another major movie star, is starring in the upcoming (probable summer blockbuster) F1.
Pitt has also aged like a fine wine.
He may not dangle from helicopters, but at 61, he’s still a handsome movie star – and an accomplished producer.
And like Cruise, Pitt has managed to hold on to power and fame for decades – in a competitive, cut-throat industry.
But how did Brad Pitt spend Father’s Day?
He is the father of six children.
He and ex-wife Angelina Jolie had four children together, and he also adopted her eldest sons, Maddox and Pax.
The Jolie-Pitt brood were often photographed together
But their Hollywood fairy tale fell apart after a 2016 “incident” on a private plane that reportedly involved a physical confrontation between Maddox and Pitt.
In 2020, Pax shared his feelings about Pitt on Instagram on (of all days) Father’s Day – calling him a “world-class asshole.”
“You time and time and again prove yourself to be a terrible and despicable person,” Pax wrote.
“You have no consideration or empathy toward your four youngest children who tremble in fear when in your presence.
“You will never understand the damage you have done because you are incapable of doing so.
“You have made the lives of those closest to me a constant hell.”
But Pax was 16 years old at the time – and teenagers being angry at their parents isn’t unusual.
But since then, Pitt’s daughters Zahara and Shiloh have dropped “Pitt” from their surname.
And if Pitt has spent much time with his children, the ever-present paparazzi haven’t captured it.
I don’t know what Pitt’s relationship with them – or his nearly 17-year-old twins Knox and Vivienne – is like now.
But they used to be photographed together frequently – and I doubt we’ll see them on the red carpet while Pitt promotes F1.
And that got me wondering how Pitt might answer if someone on the red carpet asked how he spent Father’s Day.
It probably didn’t involve breakfast in bed or handmade cards, the way it might for so many dads.
Maybe Cruise and Pitt are reminders that even successful men can’t have it all.
We often ask whether women can have it all, but maybe the better question is:
Can anyone?
We celebrate men for their drive, their work ethic, their financial success.
But we rarely ask about the cost of that success – or who paid the price.
And it’s not just Hollywood.
Elon Musk is the richest man in the world.
But what are his relationships like?
Elon Musk with three of his (13?) kids. Notice, no one’s holding Daddy’s hand
Money can buy a lot of things – but it can’t make people love you.
And if you ask me, an ideal Father’s Day is simple:
Spending time with a child who loves you.
And if you have that, maybe you’re already richer than you think.
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Beth Collier loves writing, pop culture, and Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt.
She also loves helping companies, leaders, and teams improve their communication (and creativity and leadership) through consulting, coaching, and workshops.
Her clients benefit from Beth’s global corporate experience, Midwestern practicality and enthusiasm, and an endless supply of pop culture references.
To find out how Beth can help you become a more confident, creative, and compelling leader – or improve communication in your company – visit www.beth-collier.com or drop her a line at beth@beth-collier.com
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